Three people

Yesterday I hung out with people with Muslim roots

I thought of you

People whose parents come from three different countries in the middle east

Children who existed on various spectrums of our rainbow

I was intrigued

I wiggled my way in

Into their conversation

By common words I had learned —on my own and from you

Kaifa hal?

I inquired.


One responded.


I…met a guy who told me he substitutes cocaine for psychotropic medications when he runs out

Until his next refill

Because something has to keep his chemical levels from dipping

He needed an “upper”


I met a woman

Who told me of the pressures her parents put her under

How she rebelled

How she met the love of her life, not taking them seriously

Their first interaction a threesome

Now they’re getting married


How she lost all of her friends due to that proposal

Because they so badly wanted to be the first.


We connected.

I felt vibes of one attempting to come onto me.

Beat them at their game and slipped into the night.


On my ride home I pondered.


Not looking, she found what I want

I reflected back on others’ experiences that let them to this type of commitment

Cheating, open relationships, threesomes.

I feel like I exist on some other plane

Are these things the things one must do to secure a future with you?

I am saddened because no matter how hard I work

I end up empty handed

And this type of work that’s left, the work to which I refer, are just not made for my hands to attend to.