Yesterday I hung out with people with Muslim roots
I thought of you
People whose parents come from three different countries in the middle east
Children who existed on various spectrums of our rainbow
I was intrigued
I wiggled my way in
Into their conversation
By common words I had learned —on my own and from you
I…met a guy who told me he substitutes cocaine for psychotropic medications when he runs out
Until his next refill
Because something has to keep his chemical levels from dipping
He needed an “upper”
I met a woman
Who told me of the pressures her parents put her under
How she rebelled
How she met the love of her life, not taking them seriously
Their first interaction a threesome
Now they’re getting married
How she lost all of her friends due to that proposal
Because they so badly wanted to be the first.
I felt vibes of one attempting to come onto me.
Beat them at their game and slipped into the night.
On my ride home I pondered.
Not looking, she found what I want
I reflected back on others’ experiences that let them to this type of commitment
Cheating, open relationships, threesomes.
I feel like I exist on some other plane
Are these things the things one must do to secure a future with you?
I am saddened because no matter how hard I work
I end up empty handed
And this type of work that’s left, the work to which I refer, are just not made for my hands to attend to.