Loving someone with BP

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/February-2017/Loving-Someone-with-Bipolar-Disorder

While no marriage is easy—as evidenced by the 50% failure rate in United States—challenges stack up when a mental health condition is added to the mix. The prospect of dealing with a lifelong, life-threatening condition can be overwhelming.

Not surprisingly, communication is essential to supporting your partner and your union.

Caring for your own wellness is key. While it can be difficult to master, self-care is essential if you love someone with a brain disorder. Research shows that as a caregiver, you are at increased risk of becoming depressed and having other health problems if you neglect yourself. This means you must make time to restore your energy, reduce stress and deal with feelings like guilt and anger.

“You still need to take care of yourself. Find a good therapist or support group that will take care of your needs. That is the first step at helping your partner.”

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Breakups w/ BP

Still processing. When will it end. -_-

Bipolar and breakups

 

During his recovery from the breakup, he jumped into another relationship “just to prove to myself I was worth something. It was just kind of a reaffirmation thing. It was a mistake.”

Getting into a relationship when you’re fleeing feelings of loneliness, hurt or abandonment is no solid foundation for attracting a good partner, says Anita H. Clayton, MD, interim chair of the department of psychiatry and neurobehavioral sciences at the University of Virginia School of Medicine.

“The idea of moderation may not be terribly appealing, but you really need to try to keep things steady,” she says. “Keep your sleep stable, stay away from high-risk activities, and do something that for you is positive and makes you feel better.”

Joan of Florida warns against turning to social media for affirmation after a split. That’s what she did, posting rants about an ex that brought comments from friends who were trying to be supportive: “You don’t need him.” “You’ve got to move on.” “Just get off this horse and hop on another one.”

Instead of soothing her hurt, however, those remarks “just fueled the anger,” she recalls, “and that fueled a manic stage.” With her impulse control at zero, she ended up cycling through a series of sexual affairs. She regrets the way her mania torched any hope of reconciliation.

“Even if my marriage had been salvageable, I had moved on,” she says. “I didn’t even give it a chance.”

2:29 a.m.

Realizing when you asked for your key back

You subconsciously gave yourself away all along:

“What if I want to have a girl spend the night,” you reasoned

…before assuring, “Of course I’m not doing that this soon….”

Transformation

I had the most  transformative experience today and I am so grateful for it -words cannot even express.

Drudged in deep depression, yet with the awareness to know it’s not good to sit in it while my energy was basically non-existent and wanted to tie me to the bed.

I mustered up courage to go AA, only to have people see me on the verge of tears and chickened out. A knockdown.

Hours later, I chose to end my evening giving one last shot. A sacred practice. I spent two-and-a-half hours in a deep, hypnotic trance. Crossed souls with someone who saw me, felt me and facilitated breathing a little life back into me.

Ironically, there’s a Leo eclipse tonight that’s also in Aquarius. This allows us to get to know our true selves as boldly as a Leo would , while displaying that for all to see like an Aquarius. This eclipse is for letting go and transforming.

In my practice, I felt numb tingling all over, involuntary movement and a blackout. I came back somewhat reincarnated and alive.

Tonight I hope you do something to open the gates of transformation too. You deserve it.

I wish you all the best of journeys to knowing yourself more deeply and truly. 💕

As for me, it seems like a fast turnaround but I am ready to forgive, let go and focus on growing all the amazing parts of me that I know I have grown into –despite my closest love seeing me as a lost case.

See I knew where my intentions and heart and good efforts were all along. I just lost sight of that in the muddied mire of loving so much that I adopted views that weren’t accurately representative of who I am.

 

Huge heart and passionately loyal, I am going to let everybody see the huge light I possess so no one is mistaken.

Sorry for being raised by the same family as you

Grew up and tried to mend my inherited wounds

But you couldn’t love me through

Not like I did you…

Broken

There are some things that can’t be mended

Not even if you’re a vet

A pain

All of these posts

They sting

But they are the undercurrent of a pained love

The sweetness, yet harshness of honeybees