2:29 a.m.

Realizing when you asked for your key back

You subconsciously gave yourself away all along:

“What if I want to have a girl spend the night,” you reasoned

…before assuring, “Of course I’m not doing that this soon….”

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Transformation

I had the most  transformative experience today and I am so grateful for it -words cannot even express.

Drudged in deep depression, yet with the awareness to know it’s not good to sit in it while my energy was basically non-existent and wanted to tie me to the bed.

I mustered up courage to go AA, only to have people see me on the verge of tears and chickened out. A knockdown.

Hours later, I chose to end my evening giving one last shot. A sacred practice. I spent two-and-a-half hours in a deep, hypnotic trance. Crossed souls with someone who saw me, felt me and facilitated breathing a little life back into me.

Ironically, there’s a Leo eclipse tonight that’s also in Aquarius. This allows us to get to know our true selves as boldly as a Leo would , while displaying that for all to see like an Aquarius. This eclipse is for letting go and transforming.

In my practice, I felt numb tingling all over, involuntary movement and a blackout. I came back somewhat reincarnated and alive.

Tonight I hope you do something to open the gates of transformation too. You deserve it.

I wish you all the best of journeys to knowing yourself more deeply and truly. 💕

As for me, it seems like a fast turnaround but I am ready to forgive, let go and focus on growing all the amazing parts of me that I know I have grown into –despite my closest love seeing me as a lost case.

See I knew where my intentions and heart and good efforts were all along. I just lost sight of that in the muddied mire of loving so much that I adopted views that weren’t accurately representative of who I am.

 

Huge heart and passionately loyal, I am going to let everybody see the huge light I possess so no one is mistaken.

Sorry for being raised by the same family as you

Grew up and tried to mend my inherited wounds

But you couldn’t love me through

Not like I did you…

Broken

There are some things that can’t be mended

Not even if you’re a vet

A pain

All of these posts

They sting

But they are the undercurrent of a pained love

The sweetness, yet harshness of honeybees

Ignored hand-me-downs

So funny, about 10 years ago today I was the other woman, and not on purpose. I was young, barely 21 hanging out with someone who claimed they only wanted to be a friend, they acted like they cared as they lured me in…to their home saying I shouldn’t drink and drive… home only to try to get in. Woke up with someone 31 standing over me then, she pulled off her hoops as her friend said don’t stoop and the woman looked at me and asked my age, said their partner-turned-ex was such a mess to let it go down this way. Now I’m nearly 31 looking down at someone when my fiancee-turned-ex who must have been having sex was unexpectedly found out. Funny how time, love leaving me blind, allowed to be within and without

My hobby

I find solace in broken things

I can’t fix you