Repeatedly evicted

We are done,
Maybe that’s why we could never settle into a house
Because in each other we can’t find home
Divine intervention ripping us apart
And we, love each other so much that through the devastation we cling
Regain balance
Only to be ripped once again
We grow weary of looking for home
Of fighting destiny when it says otherwise

Stepping on snails…

I STEP ON SNAILS

CRUSHING HOMES

I’M A HOME WRECKER

I SCREW YOU OVER

AFTER I NAIL YOU

BLACK AND DECKER

THE BLACKEST WITCH

I AM A BITCH

MORE NOW THAN EVER

LEAD YOU DOWN THE PATH

GO OFF ROAD

YET I STILL WANT FOREVER

YOU, THE PERFECT MATCH

I STRIKE, YOU STRIKE ME BACK

I REMAIN ATTACHED

HOOKED, BUT UNLOCKED

LIKE I LIFTED THE LATCH

YOU

YOU HURT ME

THEN LIKE A REBIRTH WE

STARTED OVER

TUMBLING DOWN THE SAME OLD PATH

TUMBLE WEEDS

WHERE ARE WE AT

I FEEL A PULL

TO YOU AND AWAY

I LULL

WHEN THE SEX IS DULL

AND OVER THOUGHTS I MULL

WITH MY HEART STILL FULL

I LOOK OVER COMPLICATIONS OF CROSSING RULES

WITH MY HEART STILL FULL

WILL YOU PLAY ME AGAIN OR WILL WE FIX THIS

DO WE HAVE THE TOOLS

MY HEART’S STILL FULL

LOVE PLAYS A GAME THAT ENDS SO CRUEL

WHEN OUR HEART’S STILL FULL

WE WALK AWAY

THE HYPOTHESIS OF OUR LOVE NULL

I talk to you, cause I have no one to talk to:

Trying to contemplate, what yesterday was all about

I sat in my car for a half an hour because my gut kept whispering, “Don’t go out.”

But that’s not where it started, where it started was somewhere between a locked door and awkward vibes.

I get that you’re tired of my questioning; however, I didn’t think it would blow up like this.

You know, it’s never like I volunteered to feel this way. But what I did volunteer, in hopes, were my thoughts to you. Hopes, that never came true.

Like I said, I was working through it in my head and it only exacerbated things more to bring them to you.

I just find it hard to believe that was the basis for you being so pissed with me. I tried all of Debra’s communication techniques, and called your fouls -you say lets try, 100% all in, but you didn’t care.

Anyhow, fast forward to my night out. I was never up to anything, if I was why would I invite you out?

You ask me to give you the benefit of the doubt, and last night I asked the same. I shook her hand to send a message, and she took it a whole different way. I guess me frozen, from shock of her audacity, and moving to introduce her to you wasn’t enough.

Yeah, you got me there, I’d be mad too. But, see, you’re taking this and I have no clue what you’re going to do.

See, me? I love you, so I’d be mad but be there by you, true and true.

So surprised, you check everyone else, but this time you decided not to.

I also never flirted with the girl in line, she asked me a question and like you said, “I didn’t know I had to be an asshole.”

I’m screaming it at you from the top of my lungs, “I have not done anything to be disloyal to you.” I may have my moments with trust, but I would never do that to you -ever.

It hurts, I toss and turn in the night, feeling pulled to get you to look in my eyes and see that person who I was -bowing out when times get rough -that person’s no longer me.

I had visions with you, I got hung up on getting a house, having a child. Hoping you’d envision it too. But you dropped the anchor, weighing me down, you couldn’t see that with me.

I agree, what happened last night, was fucked up and for that I’m sorry.

I just wish you would see, I was with Leilani that night, hadn’t done anything near the direction of flirting or being shady.

I guess I’m just reiterating, something you would never believe.

I love you. I’m sorry. And I know for you these feelings will never be enough.

Not going to make it about me, I love you and I wish you good luck.

It’s almost like…

It’s almost like

You were scared we would actually work out

I came home from working out

To your slick words and your foul mouth

It’s almost like

Things were going good and you dipped out

None of this is what effort’s about

Like we went in the right direction and you changed routes

Your trust for me dissipated, evaporated like liquid under heat

Foundation never solid, not sure what you would call it, but this behaviors got me beat

I never did anything for you not to trust me

Even after you did cheat

I know you hate me bringing it up

But I’m really needing you to see

Contradictory

To your beliefs

You took the anger of what someone else did and put it on me

I tried to keep my distance

But it provided no relief

I’m sorry that she kissed me

Had the nerve to kiss me on my cheek

I knew where this would lead

Wish it didn’t result in our defeat

Im trying to make this work, so bad

I wanted you to marry me

But to break it off, you seem all to glad

You couldn’t wait to bury me

I’ve got to look the beast in its eye

You say so many times

You want out

Now it’s what I see

Blamed me for my subtle mistrust

When I

Could’ve dealt with everything

 

We

You and me

This team that forms we

We, overcome everything, un-stoppingly

We have been through it all

From childhood

Always getting up when we fall

We have endured

Even when in ourselves we were unsure

We

You and me

We have been through it all

But I assure you

That this team

Will come out standing tall

Hustle

My career striving has been 15 years in the making

I’ve moved mountains, only to have more placed in front of me

I’ve been homeless, kicked out by a drug-addicted, manic-depressive mother at 17

I struggled through that, got two jobs and still my dreams were pressing me

Went to community college, survived DV

Made it into undergrad and graduated despite things

Got a DUI, bounced back

Grad school’s where I’m at

And now, yet again, despite intentions

Messed up systems keep pushing me back

They won’t hold me back

I’ve come too far

So I’ll do what I have to do

Sleep in a car

Take two steps back

But nothing will stop my drive to live a life from helping people

Like me and you