I don’t want to be here

If I have a heart made of gold

Then why is it not valued

Sinking deep into depression

Too much for these Valiums

My eyes hang heavy

My energy is low

I feel like I’m not ready

But at the same time I’m ready to go

…Besides, in time no one will know

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Don’t leave 

Don’t leaveI feel you slipping away from me

You close your eyes and I can’t see

If you’re still here with me

Don’t leave

You were the only clarity in this complicated world

Only sanity I found in you girl

Only sane away from the mundane 

Don’t leave

I need you

Don’t leave

Please

I need you

I was you.

9/28 

TodayI saved a life

And normally when I would be writing about mine 

It wasn’t

And to think I almost thought nothing of it

And to think you almost died acting on suicide you’ve done it

I would never forgive myself because of it 

Your words slipping slurring

Text messages triply words are blurring 

Suicidal ideation re occurring 

Trying to be gone in such a hurry

I just want to take away all your worries 

No regrets because you’re for me

No societal expectations 

No conforming

I’d be mourning if you weren’t here in the morning 

Perspective 

Last night I dreamed that my engine was out of oil, only to find that when I went to fill the engine, it overflowed with oil.

I guess in life this resonates because we may think something’s not there just because we lose sight of it; and when we go to fix it, ironically, we break it because that resource was already in abundance.

Is the glass that is unseen half empty or half full, or does it not exist simply because we can’t rely on faith that it’s there.

It’s all about perspective.