My mom is dying

I guess she wasn’t lying.

It’s just slower as opposed to sudden.

I’m not sure which is worse.

Probably neither, just a different type of pain.

A prolonged pain that builds up until the moment of death.

Anxiously waiting, watching, witnessing.

I’ve always put distance between me and you to make swallowing your dysfunctions easier.

Dysfunctions embedded in you by sick individuals.

Now I can’t put distance.

Not when you’re weight loss is in my face

Not when you’re purple hands are in my face

Not when what you have is spreading to your brain.

Don’t go mom.

I love you.

I never got a chance to fully love you.