I talk to you, cause I have no one to talk to:

Trying to contemplate, what yesterday was all about

I sat in my car for a half an hour because my gut kept whispering, “Don’t go out.”

But that’s not where it started, where it started was somewhere between a locked door and awkward vibes.

I get that you’re tired of my questioning; however, I didn’t think it would blow up like this.

You know, it’s never like I volunteered to feel this way. But what I did volunteer, in hopes, were my thoughts to you. Hopes, that never came true.

Like I said, I was working through it in my head and it only exacerbated things more to bring them to you.

I just find it hard to believe that was the basis for you being so pissed with me. I tried all of Debra’s communication techniques, and called your fouls -you say lets try, 100% all in, but you didn’t care.

Anyhow, fast forward to my night out. I was never up to anything, if I was why would I invite you out?

You ask me to give you the benefit of the doubt, and last night I asked the same. I shook her hand to send a message, and she took it a whole different way. I guess me frozen, from shock of her audacity, and moving to introduce her to you wasn’t enough.

Yeah, you got me there, I’d be mad too. But, see, you’re taking this and I have no clue what you’re going to do.

See, me? I love you, so I’d be mad but be there by you, true and true.

So surprised, you check everyone else, but this time you decided not to.

I also never flirted with the girl in line, she asked me a question and like you said, “I didn’t know I had to be an asshole.”

I’m screaming it at you from the top of my lungs, “I have not done anything to be disloyal to you.” I may have my moments with trust, but I would never do that to you -ever.

It hurts, I toss and turn in the night, feeling pulled to get you to look in my eyes and see that person who I was -bowing out when times get rough -that person’s no longer me.

I had visions with you, I got hung up on getting a house, having a child. Hoping you’d envision it too. But you dropped the anchor, weighing me down, you couldn’t see that with me.

I agree, what happened last night, was fucked up and for that I’m sorry.

I just wish you would see, I was with Leilani that night, hadn’t done anything near the direction of flirting or being shady.

I guess I’m just reiterating, something you would never believe.

I love you. I’m sorry. And I know for you these feelings will never be enough.

Not going to make it about me, I love you and I wish you good luck.

It’s almost like…

It’s almost like

You were scared we would actually work out

I came home from working out

To your slick words and your foul mouth

It’s almost like

Things were going good and you dipped out

None of this is what effort’s about

Like we went in the right direction and you changed routes

Your trust for me dissipated, evaporated like liquid under heat

Foundation never solid, not sure what you would call it, but this behaviors got me beat

I never did anything for you not to trust me

Even after you did cheat

I know you hate me bringing it up

But I’m really needing you to see

Contradictory

To your beliefs

You took the anger of what someone else did and put it on me

I tried to keep my distance

But it provided no relief

I’m sorry that she kissed me

Had the nerve to kiss me on my cheek

I knew where this would lead

Wish it didn’t result in our defeat

Im trying to make this work, so bad

I wanted you to marry me

But to break it off, you seem all to glad

You couldn’t wait to bury me

I’ve got to look the beast in its eye

You say so many times

You want out

Now it’s what I see

Blamed me for my subtle mistrust

When I

Could’ve dealt with everything