Searching [facebook] for something “more”

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I’m not what you’re looking for

Instead, you stay up, stay out –away from me

Sitting up in your car Facebook searching

Have you found it?

I think you did

Tears streaming

Because in me you find something dead

That’s why you’re always pushing us towards doom isn’t it

Are you meticulously planning this?

Tucking me into bed

So you can be alone making love with the thoughts in your head

Never thought I’d be

Some housewife for someone who seems to not be in love with me

It hurts a little realer, makes my heart a little number

Because this time I cannot blame some shady action I’ve done

This time I will not get back at you to feel I’ve won

This time it’s a loss

A loss you are unwilling to fight for

I feel stupid

For feeling wrong each time you get mad at me for calling out your shortcomings

“Why did you do that,” taking responsibility for your unaccountability

Each time I own my feelings, you make me inhuman by saying that I’m just victimizing

You don’t care how I feel

 

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