If I only knew what a push could do…

Who needs closure
When your partner gets upset over something so simple
And then choses to fight with you while you’re sleep
You say that was the one thing you’d never do to me
Because you witnessed it with your mother
But you did
You got upset because I told you to make a decision about what we should do for my birthday weekend
There was a reason I felt like this time it wasn’t a time for celebration
You move to the living room
And I nurse NyQuil for sleep
I have work at 6 in the morning
30 minutes later I’m awakened by you
Back in the room rustling around
Seems like you were intentionally trying to wake me
Yes I was grumpy but I said nothing
Until you pulled the covers back from me
And I fussed
I really had no clue where the remote was
And you went from 0 to 100
In a matter of seconds
It was fuck me bitch
But the worst time was the second
When you came looking for your charger
That I really didn’t have
I admit I unplugged it but I left it near where it was originally at
Here you come marching ripping my phone from off the charger
I jump up and push you
Taking things a little further
But you made the swing
That set us off blow after blow
What has changed your temperament towards me
I’d really like to know
There’s some things you’re not yet past
And it justifies you talking to me like I’m shit
I told myself keep working, because with you it’s worth it
You spew every vile word that I uttered to you in confidence
Telling me that I like getting beat
That I asked for this violence
Sitting here in my car
I no longer pity myself
I’ve got too much else to care for
I’ve got to man up or else
I think about my brother who needs me very bad
I’d rather sleep in this car than to let him see how I am instead
I admit I shouldn’t have pushed you
For that I am wrong
But you knew what you were doing
You were pushing for a fight all along

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One thought on “If I only knew what a push could do…

  1. Dm says:

    That’s horrible.
    I’m so sorry that you have gone through this. I pray that it’s truly in the past and that you are far away from that jackass.
    Stay strong.

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