To have and to hold

How you’re being to me isn’t fair

But who am I to complain about fair?

I understand

But how far does trying go until it’s gone too far?

Don’t get me wrong

I will still, until the very last moment you decide not to, and even then I will

Try

But it’s like every time I say hi

I’m met with your goodbye

I haul our luggage ten steps forward

For you to drive it twelve steps back

So easy for you too

So easy for you to

Shut me down, shut me out

And lately I’ve been looking for the reason too

I am my own moral support right now

Push, Amber, push

But no matter how far upstream I swim

I will never be let off the hook

You say you forgive me

With the conviction of a mother mourning the murder of her son

To be strong

“For you and for me”

Don’t you see?

You still haven’t

Which leaves me desolately

In a whirlpool

Trying to hold all things together

While they are spiraling out of control

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