Stuck

Gridlock

I hate myself

Every time I cry

I look myself in my eyes

Examine the crease between my brows

My sorry excuse for a smile

My nose turns bright red

My hair looks quite a mess

Laying hunched over on the bedroom floor

I cry silent tears behind closed doors

And think about all the wrong in my life

And how everything will never be right

Because I have a juvenile for a mom

My dad’s been long gone

Because I was fostered on a faulty foundation

Which keeps bumping me into the same situation

Loving people who never do nothing for themselves

And disconnecting MYSELF from

Every

One

Else

My heart reaches for the sky

But it keeps being weighed down by lies

By

“You can do it, I know you can,”

But when I need help, no one’s there to lend a hand

Man

It seems that if you start from the bottom you remain damned

Can I get some space?

Clear these thoughts from my mental plate

Layout a new game plan

Turn to God cause he’s the only one who can

Erase $10k in medical bills

Protect me from these fraudulent deals

The kind my mom keeps involving me in

But when I get caught it’s like she dissolves and

I’m tryna go to school, but I gotta work to live

And I’m running on an empty battery, so how much more can I give

If

I could erase the pain

I’d go through the motions without going insane

Blame

The nation that you like to call free

But it’s funny because society

Has a gridlock on me

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