Déjà Vu

Fog

My heart skips this beat

When it fathoms something it cannot bear

It searches between the thinnest of lines

Only to find

Now it’s not there

That “gut” feeling

The one I used to get

When something right refused to sit

When puzzles refused to fit

When flowers masked the smell of shit

… 

I’ve been here before

Same memory

Different time

Same framework

Different lines

As much as it sounds right

It just doesn’t rhyme

That’s not you

I mean my intuition is usually true

But somewhere behind

My mind tends to throw me off

So I when I feel, I think

And then I think more and I feel

I keep thinking and feeling until I no longer no which is real

A mastermind’s demise

A plan that I devised

To constantly keep a divide

But you’re that wedge

A pain in my ass

A screw-up to my plans

And I love it so much

But it scares me, your touch

Because to not feel is to be safe

And that’s exactly what I was supposed to do

And then came you

And that’s why I’m left sitting here

Near midnight

Throwing away my work to work on this thought

Learned lessons

You would’ve thought that I forgot

With the way I approach pitch three

With all expectations of striking out

Waiting for confirmation that I knew it would happen

Without a doubt

And that’s why I’m left sitting here

With the big picture making logical sense

But the negatives not fully developing

What I think

I can’t see

The details to my emotional framework not making the house

The house that I’ve been sheltered in my whole life

The house that has caved in on me twice

Awaiting the third strike

The picture:

You and a friend

Not talking

Seems a little more like a relationship than I’d like to think

My heart skips but I don’t blink

As I talk myself off the brink

Fine lines:

I don’t think I’m blind

I just think my heart right now is a little smarter than my mind

And that’s why I’m left sitting here

Repetitious right?

Through and through

Just like when I know this has happened before

You

Just a little different

Déjà Vu

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