My Serial Deceptionist

How do you restore trust in a relationship?

There’s no definitive answer, but I do know it’s not by continuing to lie

Even if the truth sits uncomfortably with them- at least its concrete

Not a weak foundation

Weak foundations are bound to crumble

The truth bound to be discovered

And if it is a little white lie

Then why risk it?

Or is it?

Try to imagine how it feels to have to question every single sentence that comes out of your lover’s mouth.

Even the seemingly simplest of things are called into question

The emptiness that is given from not being able to say- “I know my baby is telling the truth about this”- is insurmountable

It’s a life with no soul

A relationship with no substance

A commitment is to be between two- interdependent

But the dependent left out- when you can’t even tell whether they had chicken or steak for dinner

It seems stupid right? Why is it so important? The importance is placed when the deceiver chooses to lie about something so minute.

The victim, they want so hard to believe.

They put so much value in the words of their lover

And when they are let down their world crumbles

Find me unconditional love and you will find endless chances

But each chance is called into question

They want to believe but they know better, so they have to check

Each instant the truth comes out- the stronger the bond

But if lies remain then it is further weakened

Then other things are called into question:

Did you really just try on a lip-gloss or did the lips of another put the glitter there?

You can no longer go off of their initial reaction when the question is posed because it’s like believing an actor to play that same role in real life- it’s not what it seems

Because you know in the past, they reacted in anger to make you feel guilty when you were right all along

Have some heart.

I put my heart out there hoping you would join me- but it’s left cold and desolate.

Make me proud to have taken the risk- I know you could give a fuck but our state is a reflection of yourself.

And you not caring about how you look is enough.

It is the bottom line.

How could you ever expect me to stay- and when I do- you think I’m stupid for doing it.

You serial deceptionist.



© 2012, AMBER MCKINNEY. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license,

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