The Day (Part II)

I’m alive! Image

Things didn’t turn out anywhere near as bad as I’ve expected them to be. And here I was walking over the threshold forcing myself not to turn and run! I had two assistants and one dentist. They hooked me up to a heart monitor and blood pressure system.

Then they put needle in my arm for sedation. They said it should make me feel warm and tingly with possible cotton mouth. I felt warm within five minutes and before I knew it I dozed. The funny thing is that I was conscious in my sedation. No, I couldn’t feel anything – thank God because I could never be that guy from Awake- but I could hear myself snoring loudly. How embarrassing. In fact, that was my last conscious thought,”I hope I don’t snore.” I’ve picked up this habit recently and I heard it’s bad news.

I heard drilling and thought they were drilling the wrong tooth, but it must’ve been my imagination. I also thought I looked over and saw my ex and my sister working in the room, so I know I was out of it. Gratefully they weren’t because I didn’t feel like dying in the dentist office.

Before I knew it they were done and it hurt none- and I got a prize to take with me- my pulled teeth! I was only irritated because sleep felt so good and the nurse wouldn’t let me. I went to two houses after: my mom and my friends sister. At my moms, she and my sisters poked fun at me and I yelled when my mom took a pic. Like can’t they give me a break?! Always teasing! My Grandma bought tons of apple sauce and useless straws, if I use them I can get dry socket- not fun.

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At my friends sister, all seven kids were in awe. They looked and some laughed when I tried to talk- I sound like Scooby. I ate a cup of apple sauce after rinsing my bleeding mouth with lukewarm salt-water. Apparently I was drooling blood, but I still can’t feel a thing. After I ate (if that’s what you call it), I was OUT! This curious little kid kept messing with my bandage in my sleep and kept asking me question and saying “huh” like 20 million times until I gave up repeating after the fifth time, needless to say I was irritated. He’s so young and cute and he means well, so I couldn’t help but thaw out right after.

I changed my gauzes forever and need to buy tea with tannin in it as an alternative. I went to Target and got some necessities for this situation. My eating ideas referenced an online suggestion that breaks down what a person that’s had their teeth removed can eat based on the hours that’ve past and it’s also based on taste. I bought friendly foods such as Amy’s Vegetarian Chili (spicy), Noodle Soup (no chicken) and Butternut Squash most of which received good grades on my Fooducate app.

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The app is really good at revealing what’s good for you and explaining why other products aren’t a healthy choice. For example, did you know that most popular beers have animal bladder in them? Or that imitation crab gets its red-orange hue from crushed insects? Crazy stuff.

I came home and ate Butternut Squash, tempted by my uneaten pasta. Then I’m required to rinse after each meal with a solution made of Perioguard and salt water (8x a day). Now I’m in bed watching X-Men Two (Sookie is Rogue!), woozy still, hungry still. But I suppose I’ll survive.

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© 2012, AMBER MCKINNEY. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license,

(Which means you can share and repost this as long as you attribute it to muah! ;D)

The Day (part I)

So I’m trying to keep this site consistent- but I’ve GOT to blog about this. I’ve had a dentist phobia for as long as I could remember. The one time that stands out is when I was in kindergarden and they put me to sleep for my filling because I had a history of screaming and kicking, but I woke up from the anesthesia to find myself in a straight jacket and it was all hell from there.

Fast-forward to about 20 years later (time flies!) and here I am waking up on the day that I’m going to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. How tf did I get to this point?!

I’ve put it off for as long as I can, but I need to get it done. It’s messing up my smile, it hurts and most importantly: I can’t enjoy eating. Given that going through with this I won’t enjoy eating for a while still, but oh well I’m finally facing the music. It’s the scary kind you hear in the Jason movies too!

Last night was my last supper. Or breakfast should I say, and it was mainly a vegetarian one at that (minus that one shrimp I tried and repulsed at). I stocked up on food seeing as I won’t be able to eat from midnight on- too bad I got full fast. I had a spinach and artichoke soufflé, a mediterranean egg-white sammy and a carrot cake. For dinner I got treated to Cajun “Shrimp” Alfredo Pasta- from which I only ate one shrimp and it tasted like pure sea salt- and a bite of noodles, because the artichoke dip had filled me. So much for stuffing. I did indulge on the Cabernet and then some more Merlot when I got home.

The whole weekend I’ve been having tinglies in my tummy and I’ve tried to subside them with meditation, but even this morning I couldn’t knock it- I spaced out my whole meditation (I know that’s kind of what you’re supposed to do but it’s not the same)

I woke at 5 a.m. rinsed with Perioguard (prescribed mouthwash) and then faced the beginning of the scares of all scares: swallowing my 6 pills (promethazine, ibuprofen and four amoxicillin), but get this- I have a pill phobia as well. Long story short I surprisingly fared better than before and after deep breathing, softening up the pills and 20 minutes, they were in my system. I won’t even go into detail about how I’ve reacted to pills before. I know I sound like Chuckie Finster from the Rugrats, but I SWEAR I’m not a total scaredy-poo there’s three, no four (my fav #), phobias for me: 1) dentist 2) pills 3) bees 4) heights. I won’t go into my bee incidents either. LOL.

So here I am sitting here in my onesie blogging to pass the time by. We’ll see how this goes (or doesn’t go)…

 

© 2012, AMBER MCKINNEY. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license,

(Which means you can share and repost this as long as you attribute it to muah! ;D)

Looking Back

I’m browsing through my old Myspace blog (I know!) and found this one- any title suggestions?

(Untitled)

I can’t trust him
But I love him
I can’t be with him
But I need him
I can’t try again
But this can’t end
I cant lose
But I can’t win
So what do you do,
when your closest friend,
just steps right out your life?
What would you do
if you slept next to
the person who broke your heart, everynight?
What would you do
if they walked away
and stepped out your hearts door?
And you knew
from that point on
that “us” would be “no more”
What would you say
to try to delay, erase the words that turned the tables?
Would you live another day
If you knew that with them that you weren’t able?
What would you try
so your love won’t die
to keep your love alive?
Look me in my eyes
baby please don’t lie
A love you can’t deny.

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© 2012, AMBER MCKINNEY. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license,

(Which means you can share and repost this as long as you attribute it to muah! ;D)

Far From the Truth

An anchor, weighs my heart to the ground

Hoping to tie down a love that was never mine

Each of the sorrows you brought me are embedded in my spine

Which is probably why I haven’t been able to stand tall

You bent my self-esteem over, like you did me so many times-

So eager to fuck it

Never trust a liar, I thought nothing of it

-till I stumbled upon the truth

I found myself a little closer to happiness and further away from you

My only question is: why – it’s rhetorical

Never make a lover out of someone with no morals

You ate your best friend and her friend and when it comes to stooping low

My ex-lover you don’t have to bend

You turn full-on lesbians back to men because between you and them, there’s no difference

Sitting right next to you feels like long distance, but you never cared enough to make the call

You backed me up into a wall so if I moved, I would only be met by you

You selfish backstabbing parody of truth

You threw my heart away as if it was something you couldn’t use

But you need a little tough love

And I’m not talking about a push or tug

You need help

I have nothing left to do but to write all that I’ve felt:

You told me it looks bad on you when I move on too fast,

Yet you fucked the girl from my high school while you told me you were just best friend

She didn’t want you in the end- so it was back to me

You said we shouldn’t talk to ex’s

So you called yours up and sext through text messages- I thought that stuff was for teens

You told me you didn’t believe in cheating- but every time you try to express how much you love me you tell me when I’m married with kids you’ll still try to stray me, so when I reached out to *another you had no right to blame me

You don’t like bisexual girls, you said that to bring me down after I left my male ex- yet all of your relationships involved you and a married woman with kids

You. You. You…I can go on about how you make no sense

And I’ve already been done with trying to understand it

I think I’ll just sum it up:

You Are a Walking Contradiction

*name change

© 2012, AMBER MCKINNEY. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license,

(Which means you can share and repost this as long as you attribute it to muah! ;D)

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