The Green Light at the End of the Deck

When I see you I see us

I see you so lost in love with me and I with you

That we cannot see anyone else

I see us picking up where we left off before things turned horrid

Back on Repecho

I see us making money




Are these things we can look forward to, or are they already behind us?



They triangulated third parties to hold their love hostage

Not seeing the damage that’s already been done

Three people

Yesterday I hung out with people with Muslim roots

I thought of you

People whose parents come from three different countries in the middle east

Children who existed on various spectrums of our rainbow

I was intrigued

I wiggled my way in

Into their conversation

By common words I had learned —on my own and from you

Kaifa hal?

I inquired.


One responded.


I…met a guy who told me he substitutes cocaine for psychotropic medications when he runs out

Until his next refill

Because something has to keep his chemical levels from dipping

He needed an “upper”


I met a woman

Who told me of the pressures her parents put her under

How she rebelled

How she met the love of her life, not taking them seriously

Their first interaction a threesome

Now they’re getting married


How she lost all of her friends due to that proposal

Because they so badly wanted to be the first.


We connected.

I felt vibes of one attempting to come onto me.

Beat them at their game and slipped into the night.


On my ride home I pondered.


Not looking, she found what I want

I reflected back on others’ experiences that let them to this type of commitment

Cheating, open relationships, threesomes.

I feel like I exist on some other plane

Are these things the things one must do to secure a future with you?

I am saddened because no matter how hard I work

I end up empty handed

And this type of work that’s left, the work to which I refer, are just not made for my hands to attend to.



I’ve slit my metaphorical wrists

With the sharp shards of our broken love

And words are pouring out of me

Words, thoughts, I’ve kept in

Feelings that have been coursing through my blood stream for so long

Why does pain have to be the blessing that a writer wishes for

To create?

A beautiful little fool

Is that truly the best thing a girl can be?

To be happy, must we turn a blind eye to what makes us sad?

It’s in the eye of the beholder

It’s how you see it

What’s your perspective?

Silly Dreams

I have dreams

Dreams that look more like love películas

Where the story line tells me that this moment in our duration is only the building tension

Ready to give way to the romantical climax

That we will part

But come running back

I have dreams that while you’re away

 You’ll realize the whole time you’ve been stuck in some haze

And we’ll come running back towards each other full force

Crashing into each other

Merging into one

Running so fast that it’ll seem like we’ve got a train we just can’t miss

And that is our relationship

I have a dream that, come May, you’ll show up to my graduation day

And propose to me

And that we’ll leave the country on an excursion

To the blossoming chapter of our reborn love

I have dreams

That all the hard work we’ve put in will pay off

Because no one will love the other more than we do each other

I have dreams

But is it just a dream?

Am I only a hopeless romantic?

I hope not…

Tuh, “Friends”


I have none of them

I have people who pretend

To relay information to my ex-girlfriend


I have none of them

I have people who get in

To fit in

And then

Flirt with my then girlfriend


I haven’t any of them

I have people who either hate me or want to date me

The predicaments I’m in


Who aren’t them

The ones gossiping spreading rumors

Soul-sucking information loving leeches

I don’t have a friend in them


Is that you again?

I’ve been needing someone to talk to

Won’t someone let me in?

You are —were— my friend

Best friend

Homie, lover, friend

Til the end

What happened to you

I loved you

You left me

Come back

I need you